Monday, 16 July 2012
Myspace Creeps
Remember MySpace? I do. I used to have a profile and everything. One time a woman I didn't know sent me a message asking if I'd be willing to have a threesome with her and her husband a few towns away for $10,000. It was a lot of money but I never replied.
Thursday, 12 July 2012
That Trip to Montreal
Back when I was a youngin, under 21 years of age, and living in America, I would often flee with my friends up to Montreal. Canada seemed a magical land where the people spoke French, speed limit signs were in metric and, perhaps most importantly, the drinking age was 18.
While there are a number of trips that could be described in this blog there is one that I feel must be discussed today, particularly as I served more as the creep magnet than an actual creep!
Let me start by setting the scene: me and my other female friends were staying at a decent hotel, all sharing a room which we had paid for using one of the girls' mom's credit card (as we did not yet have such things ourselves). So we went out for dinner and then were out drinking and checking out the pubs of Montreal; most likely annoying bartenders with our American accents and inability to speak French. I recall starting to get rather sleepy and me and a few of the girls considered heading back to the hotel. On our way though we found this 'magical volcano' bar. Now to be honest the details of what happened there are a little foggy due not only to overconsumption of booze at the time but also the great lapse of time since this incident occurred - it would have been more than 10 years ago. I do believe that we stayed there until the bar was closing however and that we somehow befriended the bartenders and were perhaps dancing on the bars/tables. No doubt we were having fun. Somehow we ended up inviting at least one bartender back to the hotel room, I think to smoke a little wacky tobaccy (we were after all visiting from Vermont!).
While hanging out with our new friend in the hotel room (which in retrospect sounds really quite sketchy), he suggests that we watch a movie, perhaps some pornography. I must admit that this is not something that one would suggest under most circumstances in American culture. This seemed like a very foreign idea and one that we joked about with the bartender but were not too privy to actually be involved with. We told him thus. However he began flicking through the names of such adult entertainment and orders one entitled, "Eat me like you mean it". At this stage we get real freaked out and one of our more outspoken friends said, "no dude you have to go now" and we kicked him out and turned off the film ASAP!
The next morning, horrified by the potential explanation my friend will have to give to her rather conservative mother about the movie expense (which we are picturing with the movie title as showing up on the credit card statement), we politely explained to reception that a film was accidently ordered the night before. The kind receptionist, probably staring at the title of the film in shock, states she can see that the movie was only watched for 22 seconds and she offers to delete it from the account. She didn't smirk at all, what professional courtesy, though I do suppose that the French Canadians are also just a bit more open-minded about this sort of thing.
I'm surprised that we returned to Montreal again after that incident, but more about that another time.
While there are a number of trips that could be described in this blog there is one that I feel must be discussed today, particularly as I served more as the creep magnet than an actual creep!
Let me start by setting the scene: me and my other female friends were staying at a decent hotel, all sharing a room which we had paid for using one of the girls' mom's credit card (as we did not yet have such things ourselves). So we went out for dinner and then were out drinking and checking out the pubs of Montreal; most likely annoying bartenders with our American accents and inability to speak French. I recall starting to get rather sleepy and me and a few of the girls considered heading back to the hotel. On our way though we found this 'magical volcano' bar. Now to be honest the details of what happened there are a little foggy due not only to overconsumption of booze at the time but also the great lapse of time since this incident occurred - it would have been more than 10 years ago. I do believe that we stayed there until the bar was closing however and that we somehow befriended the bartenders and were perhaps dancing on the bars/tables. No doubt we were having fun. Somehow we ended up inviting at least one bartender back to the hotel room, I think to smoke a little wacky tobaccy (we were after all visiting from Vermont!).
While hanging out with our new friend in the hotel room (which in retrospect sounds really quite sketchy), he suggests that we watch a movie, perhaps some pornography. I must admit that this is not something that one would suggest under most circumstances in American culture. This seemed like a very foreign idea and one that we joked about with the bartender but were not too privy to actually be involved with. We told him thus. However he began flicking through the names of such adult entertainment and orders one entitled, "Eat me like you mean it". At this stage we get real freaked out and one of our more outspoken friends said, "no dude you have to go now" and we kicked him out and turned off the film ASAP!
The next morning, horrified by the potential explanation my friend will have to give to her rather conservative mother about the movie expense (which we are picturing with the movie title as showing up on the credit card statement), we politely explained to reception that a film was accidently ordered the night before. The kind receptionist, probably staring at the title of the film in shock, states she can see that the movie was only watched for 22 seconds and she offers to delete it from the account. She didn't smirk at all, what professional courtesy, though I do suppose that the French Canadians are also just a bit more open-minded about this sort of thing.
I'm surprised that we returned to Montreal again after that incident, but more about that another time.
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