No I don't want your advice on growing lettuce!

Tonight was a pretty standard day for me. After struggling through my PhD statistics at my university, I decided to stop by the campus community garden on my way home to water the lettuce seeds I'd recently put in. I went to get the watering can and start watering but near where the watering can usually sits is a bench, and this time there was a man on it. He took off his headphones to try and make some chit chat. I thought to myself, "ah this guy looks a bit weird and like he doesn't belong here" so I responded but not in an encouraging way.

He continues trying to talk to me, advising me I'd better fill up the watering can at least 4 times and stuff. I decide to ask if he studies at the university. He said, "Nah I'm just hanging out, I'm tired ya know". Then I look back to respond again and realise his penis and balls are hanging out the side of his shorts while he's talking to me. At that stage I practically run away and call campus security. Heartbeat elevated and fully creeped out. Just another day in the life of a creep magnet.